Don't You Know?
by Ly Merrick
Summary: AU in which Misty never died (as it should have been), Madison never died (unfortunately). Cordelia and Misty become inseparable; their intense friendship is often mistaken for something less innocent.


**Pairing:** Cordelia/Misty (undertones of Kyle/Madison/Zoe)

**Synopsis:** AU in which Misty never died (as it should have been), Madison never died (unfortunately). Cordelia and Misty become inseparable; their intense friendship is often mistaken for something less innocent.

**Author's Note**: THIS IS NOT MY IDEA. It is merely a collab with a lovely Aussie (krumnut) who wanted me to flesh out her elaborate plot doc into an actual fic. 99.9% of everything written was her idea, I just put different words to all of it. I'm honored that she wanted me to write it for her and I'm just as excited to write it as you guys are to read it.

###

ONE  
**Package Deal**

_Has anyone ever written anything for you  
in your darkest hours?  
Have you ever heard me sing?  
You know I'd rather be alone  
than be without you,  
don't you know?  
_

###

"It is far too early for you to even begin trying to learn transmutation," Cordelia shifted in her seat, eyes settled on the young Native witch that sat in front of her. "The dangers alone are enough reason to say no –"

Amber was a young witch who had joined them shortly after the academy had gone public. She had prior spiritual training through her family before she moved off the Oklahoma Reservation, but nothing nearly so strict. "It's not that different from journeying, or astral travel –"

"It's totally different," Misty chimed in, "I'm sorry, Amber, you know I always back you up, but – one of the Council almost died transmuting. You think you got it under control an' then next thing you know you gotta spike stickin' through your heart." She was always on Amber's side, having taken a liking to the girl's appreciation of natural magicks, non-destructive magicks, but she had to back Cordelia up. Misty knew that her words had nearly as much weight as Cordelia's.

Amber scowled at Cordelia, but her expression softened on Misty.

"I'm sorry," Cordelia soothed, leaning forward in her chair. "I don't want to see any harm to come to you. You're a witch with great potential, and it would break my heart to see it cut short because we advanced you too quickly." Misty couldn't help but smile just a little at Cordelia's gentle tone. Unconsciously, she reached a hand to Cordelia's back and smoothed her fingers over Cordelia's shoulderblade.

Dark eyes darted between Cordelia and Misty before Amber relented with a sigh. "Okay."

"I really am sorry. Be patient," Cordelia urged, standing up and just brushing by Misty. She rounded the desk and gave Amber a brief embrace. "Your time here isn't limited. There'll be plenty of time."

Amber moved away with a simple nod and a begrudging smile, "You two suck," she finalized before giving a wave and stepping out of Cordelia's office.

Misty watched the girl go, taking a seat in Cordelia's chair and looking up at the woman she'd become so close to. In the two months since the Seven Wonders trial, their friendship – which had seeded in the greenhouse long before the Seven Wonders – had grown impossibly strong. They instinctively reacted to one another, completed each other's sentences, danced around each other in the greenhouse as if they were responding to some invisible instruction. Now, as Misty searched those familiar dark eyes, a small grin spread across her lips. "You suck," she teased Cordelia, earning an eye-roll and a grin.

"Don't all adults?"

"You most of all," Misty grinned wider.

Cordelia laughed softly, moving across the room and grabbing at Misty's side. The touch caused Misty to jump from the seat – Cordelia knew her most ticklish spot. She batted away the Supreme's advancing hands, and as she darted away in laughter, Cordelia caught her by the waist.

Their laughter and playfulness was interrupted by Zoe, who smirked a little in confusion, "Uh, are you guys coming to the Council meeting?"

"Yeah," Misty spoke through her laughter, wrenching herself from Cordelia's firm grip and meeting a pair of playful, shining eyes.

Cordelia nudged her with her elbow as they parted and headed through the doors, following Zoe into the large living room. Since the academy's enrollment had grown, they'd had to purchase a number of new couches – and even then there was little room to spare. Queenie and Zoe sat in flanking positions on either side of Cordelia, and Misty often stood just behind Cordelia or sat in a chair just behind her, chin resting in her hands as she listened to the usual complaints from the Coven's growing number.

Misty pushed her messy locks away from her face as she pulled a chair just behind Cordelia, settling in for another meeting. Usually the Council solved simple feuds or answered complaints about a skill that was being taught, or some process the girls didn't agree with. She glanced up as Kyle came out with a tray, setting a mug in front of each Council member and handing Misty one as well, pouring hot tea for each of them. "Thanks, Kyle," she murmured in her usual Cajun accent with a grateful grin to the boy, who responded with his cheeky smile. She sipped at her tea carefully.

As the meeting droned on, Cordelia in the middle of explaining some protocol, Misty reached up and picked a bit of hair from Cordelia's shoulder. It took a moment, but once Cordelia stopped speaking and Zoe started, Misty felt Cordelia's eyes on her and gave a small grin behind her mug of tea.

Cordelia echoed the sentiment, the singular dimpled smile lighting up her expression immensely.

It was little moments like this that Misty enjoyed thoroughly. Somewhere along the line, Cordelia had become her best friend. She didn't feel like – outside of this bond – she was a real, living person until Miss Cordelia was around. It was like remembering to breathe.

_###_

_Life surged through Misty's body and she shot up, found that she was being clasped in Cordelia's trembling arms. The words 'venite ad me' had echoed in her ears as her soul sped from the depths of Hell back to her nearly-lifeless corpse. She had been gone a very long time – they'd begun at night and it was light out by the time she opened her eyes. She had a violent coughing fit and clung to Cordelia after. She was sure she was shaking visibly, but she could feel the deep tremble in Cordelia's arms and wanted to cry._

"_I thought we lost you," Cordelia was threading her fingers through Misty's hair, touching her face, blind eyes full of tears and panic. "I thought you were gone."_

"_It was awful, Miss Cordelia," Misty panted the words, buried her face against the warmth of Cordelia's arms. Her heart was still racing in panic; she feared this might be some torture, some trick her addled soul might be playing on her. Her fingers were digging – probably too hard – into Cordelia's arm, and she was grateful that the woman wasn't complaining._

_She hadn't realized until that moment how much she needed to depend on someone, not just Stevie, to survive and heal. Misty found Cordelia's eyes glued to her own and it didn't take much to realize that she could depend on Cordelia. There was enough care and friendship between them. She felt as if she had died alone but woken up safely in the grasp of someone who cared for her deeply._

_The bond between them was cemented almost immediately, even as Misty dropped herself from the trial. Even as Cordelia ascended to Supremacy, she had never once felt anything but equal to Cordelia. _

###

Misty was pulled from her introspection when she burned her tongue sipping the hot tea. She hissed in displeasure, then blushed, grinning apologetically when Cordelia glanced back to give her a questioning look, her eyebrow arched.

Cordelia gave a teasing smirk when she realized what had happened. As always, her dark eyes glittered in Misty's direction and communicated more than words were capable of. Misty dropped her eyes, biting back a grin and sucking on her burnt tongue.

Thankfully, this afternoon's meeting was short. They began wrapping up about 15 minutes later, with the younger members of the Coven eager to go their separate ways. While a majority of the time was dedicated to their education, they also had rare days to enjoy at their leisure.

Misty stood just as Cordelia rose from her seat, pulling the chair back for her. She thought nothing of these little gestures. It was a product of their time spent together in the smaller greenhouse, reacting to one another's space and the little cues in body language that indicated various needs. As Kyle came forward again, Misty helped him fold up the chairs and carried a couple into the garage with him. She hummed to herself as she lay them along the wall, eyes flitting to Zoe and Madison, who seemed to be waiting with differing amounts of patience for Kyle.

She excused herself through the doorway and headed into the kitchen, walking backwards momentarily to grab a bagel and budge the door open with her elbow. Misty savored the organic flavor and walked – always a slight bounce in her step – through the backyard and into the greenhouse. She shoved a generous piece of bagel into her mouth and didn't even have to ask what they were doing. She saw the mortar and pestle, recognized the various leaves and roots, noting their combination and the likely uses. She stood on her tiptoes just behind Cordelia, tugging the last ingredient from its stem and reaching around Cordelia to drop it in at the right time, stepping just beside her to grab the oil dropper to add just the right amount of Rose oil to the mix.

A lot of their time together in the greenhouse was quiet; their interaction was so instinctive that anyone else would have wondered how in the hell they managed to know exactly what was being brewed – each potion and mixture was so precise that it leant credibility to their bond, regarding the fact that Misty never once needed to look at a recipe to step in when needed and add whatever Cordelia couldn't reach. Zoe had come in once and looked immediately perplexed because the pair almost literally danced around one another, handing herbs or implements without request.

Misty took a moment to flip the switch that would bring Stevie's voice into the greenhouse, grinning slowly as the music washed over her. Her head tilted back just a little as she leaned on the table, sighing happily as she finished her bagel. She watched as Cordelia bent over the mixture, breathing an incantation in the space above it, fingers holding back her blonde hair.

It was hard to resist the desire to rest her hand on Cordelia's back, or sidle just beside the woman to feel the warmth of her shoulder pressed against her own. She craved contact and interaction with Cordelia nearly always. It was a natural extension of the supernatural bond they seemed to share. Instead, she settled for folding her arms over her stomach, crossing her legs, and leaning against the table just a little more. She swayed and sang along to Stevie, dedicating the lyrics in her mind to Cordelia.

She wondered if Cordelia had ever had someone who truly cared about her happiness. Misty had heard enough about her relationship with Hank and seen the way Fiona treated her daughter to know that in many ways, Cordelia had been isolated and alone for much of her life. She had been largely insecure before their friendship – but the longer they spent together, the less the Supreme questioned herself. If she ever had any doubts, she would seek out Misty's gaze, always supportive and glowing with warmth.

Even so, Cordelia had never been anything but respectful and reactive to Misty's needs. She had, as far as Misty knew, never probed into her mind despite her incredibly powerful ability to read and control thoughts. The Supreme had done so to nearly every other girl (when necessary) but she had never done so to Misty. Not even when Misty held back in describing her nightmares, or found herself feeling upset at one thing or another and refused to talk about it.

Misty sang, her voice true and clear as she found herself moving around the greenhouse, handing Cordelia one thing or another. "_Has anyone ever written anything for you, in all your darkest hours? Have you ever heard me sing," _she smirked at this lyric, because she saw Cordelia catch her eye, a slow and affectionate smile crossing those familiar lips, "_Listen to me now, you know I'd rather be alone than be without you, don't you know?"_

Cordelia hummed along with the song, just underneath her breath, and Misty found herself standing behind Cordelia, her hands hovering over the Supreme's. Power vibrated in the air between their hands, filtering from Misty to Cordelia, back again, and to the concoction that lay beneath Cordelia's palms. The Cajun's gaze hovering just over Cordelia's shoulder, her mouth mirrored the words Cordelia spoke, and beneath their hands the mixture began to change.

When Misty sensed the time was right, she drew her hands away and retrieved a nearby plant, slipping it in just beside the mixture. She dipped her fingers in just as Cordelia did, and together they coated the roots in the mixture, imbuing the plant with potent painkilling properties. Together they replanted it in blessed soil, and Misty tossed Cordelia a warm rag from nearby so she could wipe off her hands.

She grinned happily as the plant seemed to take on an ethereal glow, catching Cordelia's proud gaze and bouncing in place. She rinsed off her hands quickly and with dampened fingertips, grasped Cordelia's hands and pulled her into an embrace. "I love doin' this with you, Cordelia," she admitted, feeling Cordelia's responding squeeze and the way the shorter woman buried her fingers in Misty's unkempt curls.

"Me too," there was something subtle and warm in Cordelia's voice that caused Misty to breathe a little sigh as she let go.

###

Misty carried an overly large bowl of popcorn up the stairs, smiling and giving various "'Night!" responses as girls poked their heads out of their bedrooms in her usual Cajun twang. It was movie night in Cordelia's room; movie night consisted of herself and Cordelia locked in the bedroom alone, so it really wasn't like a theater movie night where they had to share the experience with anyone else. Movie night had also begun to occur far more often in the later days.

"Extra butter?" Cordelia inquired as she tied her hair back and sat in bed, one knee tilted to the side momentarily.

"Like I'd forget," Misty gave a wry grin and sat down on the bed, placing the bowl in her lap as soon as she pulled the covers on. Cordelia slipped in beside her, shoulder leaning on Misty's arm as she reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn with one hand, clicking the remote with the other. This was their fifth rewatch of Practical Magic, but Misty didn't mind. It allowed a slight freedom of conversation when they had already seen the film. That was one thing Misty hadn't been able to do growing up or in her swamp – watch movies. They'd been expressly forbidden by her oppressively religious mother. Now that she was a free-thinking person, she felt as if there was a kind of wonderful magic in movies, but it still didn't compare to her Stevie.

They went through the popcorn pretty quickly, and Misty unfolded a couple napkins from beside the bed, leaning out of Cordelia's touch for only a moment as she retrieved them. She slipped one into Cordelia's palm, settling her head on Cordelia's shoulder and settling there, a hand slipping to Cordelia's arm and grasping.

It just seemed natural to interact with Cordelia the way she did. Misty had always been a very affectionate person, but with Cordelia the need for affection was never sated. She always wanted more, somehow. She breathed out a sigh, closing her eyes as her fingers traced Cordelia's arm.

She felt fingers tangle in her own and press, a large smile coming to Misty's face. She opened her eyes and met Cordelia's thoughtful gaze, lingering there momentarily. Their fingertips toyed with one another as they sit there, forgetting about the movie just long enough for tension to rise between them. There was always this _other _feeling Misty had – she'd never had it with anyone else. Miss Cordelia had never been like anyone else. Misty didn't understand it and could never name it, if there was a name for it. She only knew it made her pulse pick up and sometimes it'd make her palms sweat.

Cordelia broke the trance by biting her bottom lip thoughtfully, brows furrowed, before resting her cheek against the top of Misty's head and settling down just a little bit into the mattress. Misty's gaze traced Cordelia's slender arms, her fingers untangling and creating a trail along the Supreme's bicep. She felt gooseflesh raise just a little, smiling in a pleased (but curious) sort of way. She spent the rest of the movie focused on little touches like this, the repetition lulling her into a calmer state.

The credits started rolling and Cordelia picked the bowl up from Misty's lap with her free hand, setting it on the side table and glancing at Misty. "I can't imagine growing up in the environment you did."

"It was stiflin'." Misty glanced curiously at Cordelia, "What makes you say that?"

"Just this film – I was raised around magick, taught at such an early age despite not having any immense skill. I can't fathom how troubling it would've been to believe that the gifts you had were evil in some way," apparently without thought, Cordelia reached down and caught Misty's hand, tangling the tips of their fingers together and idly toying with them.

Misty felt the surge of warmth, the absolute connection, and it was hard to focus for just a moment. "It was hard, but I guess, a part of me just kinda shut off; I didn't believe 'em when they said I was evil – I just pretended I didn't hear 'em."

"I'm sorry, regardless," Cordelia searched Misty's eyes, and Misty found herself softening under that penetrating gaze. "You suffered so," she had heard the brief stories of Misty's abuse. There had been switches involved a majority of the time, sometimes open palms, as well as starvation tactics – "fasting" they had called it.

"Honestly, Miss Cordelia, I think I'd go through all that all over again if it meant I had to in order to end up here with you – and the Coven, of course," Misty excused, offering an honest smile. "'Cause if I hadn'ta died, come back, I never woulda ended up where I am now. Even if I don't believe in all that shit they used to try to sell me," Misty pondered, her free hand slipping over the top of Cordelia's hand, "I do think things happen for a reason. Like a spider web, it's all connected somehow."

Cordelia was smiling in that particular way that made Misty feel warm inside. "How you manage to be so –" Cordelia sighed instead of completing the sentence, untangling their fingers and wrapping her arms around Misty, pulling her into an impromptu embrace.

When Cordelia hugged her, Misty felt like she could truly breathe. She loved the smell of Cordelia's shampoo, her perfume, the absolute _Cordelianess _of her. She exuded warmth and perfection and power. Misty's fingers pressed into Cordelia's back and Misty buried her face against Cordelia's neck.

"I admire you so very much. Everything about you," the Supreme sounded just a little emotional, and her grip tightened on Misty.

The Cajun knew that if she wanted, they'd stay like this for much longer. And she wanted this often; she had never remembered wanting to hug someone so much and so often. She could've lived in Cordelia's arms, buried herself there and lived happily. The warmth Cordelia bloomed inside of her was often like a crashing wave that swallowed her up. She didn't have the words for all that she felt – she heard various blasphemies in her head, thought of the way Jesus was supposed to have made her feel when she was growin' up, and knew that the way she felt for Cordelia was a lot like that. It was a consuming kind of love a person had sometimes. "Feelin' is mutual, 'Delia," her voice was a little husky with emotion, her hands slipping over Cordelia's shoulders and grasping a little bit. She wanted to plead with Cordelia to not let her go right now, but somehow she didn't think she had to ask.

###

At breakfast the next morning, Cordelia and Misty were seated next to one another. Misty was in the midst of conversation with Queenie, chewing on a piece of bacon, when she spotted Cordelia's hand slip over to her plate and nab her last piece of bacon. She gave the woman a look but didn't object, only took it from Cordelia's hands and split the slice of bacon in half, handing half of it to Cordelia. Her shoulder rested against Cordelia's arm, her hand slipping to Cordelia's leg just above her knee, resting there in a way that just felt natural. Her fingers trailed over Cordelia's thigh a little, thoughtlessly.

"God, I am so sick of fucking sharing with fifty other girls," Madison threw open the refrigerator door, her eyes flitting momentarily at Misty and downward; Misty thought nothing of it and went back to her food.

"The Coven is prospering, not that I would expect you to find that a positive thing," Cordelia gave a slightly irritated response, her thigh tensing underneath Misty's fingers.

"Blah blah safety in numbers, bullshit bullshit," Madison poured herself a glass of juice and sipped at it. Her eyes lingered on Misty a curious amount of time.

"If you're so miserable here," Cordelia began carefully, her tone measured and even, "why do you stay?" Beneath the edge of the counter, Cordelia's thigh shifted closer to Misty's, the Cajun's hand resting just inside Cordelia's knee as she pushed her empty plate to the center of the counter.

"Fuck if I know."

"Can't you just be happy for one day, Madison?" Zoe inquired from the table. "I mean seriously."

"Make me," there was something about the way Madison said this that confused Misty. The Cajun witch glanced between the pair, and saw Zoe trying to hide her smirk behind a glass of milk.

Kyle was placing the plates in the sink and Cordelia's warmth escaped from Misty's side, her eyes naturally following Cordelia's movement. When their gazes met, Misty knew instantly that Cordelia was headed to her office. She felt a sort of emptiness whenever Cordelia left the room, and fought the urge to follow her. She took Queenie's plate and placed it in the sink as well, positioned herself beside Kyle as he washed dishes.

She washed them in relative silence with Kyle, humming a little here and there as she took a plate from him and dried it off, set it in the appropriate place. "Do you think it's too crowded here?"

Kyle nodded, "Sometimes," he offered with that lopsided smile of his.

"Me too," Misty grabbed a lollipop from the jar on the counter, popped it into her mouth and offered Kyle one. When he shook his head no, she shrugged her shoulders and slipped it in her pocket. "It's not nearly so bad when I got Cordelia around though – kinda like –"

"No one else really matters," Kyle finished. "That's how it feels when I'm around Zoe."

Misty felt that sense of uncertainty again, offered an embarrassed smile, "Yeah, but that's different," she chuckled a little nervously and put the last few dishes away.

"Sure," Kyle granted. "Thanks for the help with dishes," he squeezed Misty's arm in passing. The boy headed up the stairs after Zoe and Madison, the sound of their laughter traveling down the stairs.

###

**If It's All I Ever Do**

_Has anyone ever given anything to you?  
In your darkest hours, did you give it back?  
Well, I have,  
I have given that to you,  
if it's all I ever do -  
this is your song._

Misty had some abilities since the trial of the Seven Wonders that she hadn't had before. There were sometimes when she heard thoughts – usually by accident, because she believed in privacy and never pried into anyone's mind. That's why, when she walked into Cordelia's office later that day and saw the most important person in her life, her whole tribe, holding her head in thought, eyes closed, she was surprised to hear the crystal clear sound of a murmur.

Cordelia's thoughts must have been troubling enough for her to be projecting loudly. _– student, or friend. Supreme's can't engage in such behavior. She doesn't even – _and then the thought faded out. Cordelia looked up, her expression betraying surprise. "Hey you," Cordelia greeted warmly. Misty crossed the room and sat on the desk, leaning back a little bit and grabbing a nearby book.

She wouldn't let Cordelia know she'd heard anything, but she wondered what was troubling her friend. "You okay?" She flipped through the spellbook, making idle note of incantations that seemed useful.

"I'm fine," Cordelia excused softly, waving a dismissive hand. Her eyes were cast to the side and she was suddenly fidgeting with her papers as Misty crossed her legs. "Just worrying about a few petty things. These girls make problems out of nothing."

It seemed like Cordelia might not be sharing the truth with her, but Misty understood sometimes there were things that even she couldn't share. So she didn't pry, only listened. She hopped down from the desk and put the book down, sitting on the arm of Cordelia's chair and leaning over the paperwork near her.

"New applicants," Cordelia explained, brushing her hair away from her face, her hand grazing Misty briefly in passing. "All sound promising, but I'm starting to think we may need to figure out a boarding situation. We're running out of room for the first time in 20 years," she smiled proudly.

"That's awesome, Cordelia," Misty stated celebratorily and found herself admiring the happy shine in Cordelia's eyes. She reached down, in a feather-light gesture brushing a lock of Cordelia's hair from her eyes. "All 'cause of you. You know that, right?"

Cordelia's cheeks colored a light pink, she gave a roll of her eyes, "Flatterer," she murmured softly enough for Misty to hear, but still she bit her bottom lip the way she did when she blushed, her fingers catching Misty's briefly.

Misty felt a peculiar flutter in her stomach, and a heaviness in her chest. She pulled Cordelia's hand into her lap briefly, watching the way their fingers toyed

"I should get back to work," Cordelia's tone was reluctant, but Misty stood nonetheless.

"I'll come by in a while, bring in some lunch," Misty offered, leaning down and pressing her lips to Cordelia's cheek. It was a gesture that often passed between them, a natural extension of their friendship and affection. Her fingers grazed Cordelia's opposite cheek before she headed out of the room, bouncing lightly on her toes as she closed the door, grinning at a joyful-looking Cordelia.

Misty headed up the stairs afterward, feeling the need to retreat to Cordelia's bedroom (she rarely spent time in her own), but overheard something that would further add to her confusion.

"Come on," Madison husked in the other room – the one Zoe shared with Kyle. "He's not gonna mind if we start without him," that breathy tone made Misty a little confused, and as she nervously glanced at the crack in the door, she watched as Madison pushed Zoe onto the bed, crushed their mouths together in a searing kiss.

Misty had been raised to see such things as unnatural – and while she wasn't offended, and didn't believe in all the bullshit that said they'd see fire and brimstone at the end of their lives – she felt a kind of surprise and clouded confusion. She knew that sometimes they _messed around _together with Kyle, but she'd never really seen two women acting intimate with one another _like that. _In her naivete, she stepped forward a little, feeling a strange heat crawl from her chest to her throat. Zoe's protests were drowned out by a quiet gasp; all Misty could see was the way Madison's hand made a little mound as it trailed up Zoe's shirt.

Suddenly Misty realized Madison had caught her staring; the door flung shut with a flick of Madison's free hand, a scathing glare sent in the way of Misty's gaze. Despite Misty's embarrassment it took her a moment to realize what she had just seen, and she ducked her head in pure shame as she hurried to Cordelia's room. She closed the door tightly behind herself, feeling the low-heat in her stomach she'd only ever felt once before, when a boy who played guitar had kissed her at a church concert.

Only this time it was stronger. And suddenly, for some reason, all she could imagine was the flush of Cordelia's cheeks, her mouth, and wondered what it would be like to kiss _her. _Shame tainted the thought, and Misty tried to push it away as she lay on the bed.

Still her mind circled. How would two women please each other? She knew that – according to the people she'd been taught by – men and women fit together. Their parts fit together. She couldn't fathom how – but then she imagined Cordelia's hand on her stomach, making a trail, the shape of it fabricated in her mind. Shame flooded her again and she covered her face.

Misty supposed – if it was anything like her momma had found her touching herself and forced her to fast for a week – that if you used your fingers in the right way, maybe even – and then Misty's shame took a backseat to arousal. Suddenly she felt hot, but buried herself under the spare cover nonetheless, her hand slipping over the shape of her own hips.

Her mind was circling around the same images – Cordelia's dark eyes, her lips, maybe pressed right on Misty's stomach, her hand moving over Misty's thigh. It was too much. Misty's insides ached, and her fingers found that hot place between her legs that she'd been taught she should never touch. She'd been punished with prayer and fasting – but now she was a grown woman who was starting to make sense of the taboo shrouding her knowledge.

She found her clit, felt the spark ignite as she imagined not _her _fingers but Cordelia's. She let out a quiet gasp, her hips moving just a little bit. And suddenly she found a rhythm, her mind flipping through what it might look like if it were Cordelia; she imagined Cordelia's weight on top of her, saw her slender arm slipped between them, and ached with need.

She came, despite her overwhelming shame and desire to be holding on to Cordelia right now.

Was that wrong? As she panted, caught her breath and rushed off of the bed to take a shower and clean herself of the lingering guilt, her body still ached to the thoughts she'd just entertained. Was it wrong of her to cross that line, even if it was only in her mind?

She didn't even know that was something she'd ever wanted; hell, didn't even know it was something that _happened _the way it happened with men and women, but now it was something that buried in the depths of her mind and taunted her.

She showered for quite some time before she got out, deciding that the best place to clear her head was probably the greenhouse. Misty slipped on her favorite dress and shawl, headed down the stairs and out of the house before she was noticed.

"What's wrong, swamp rat? Where's your girlfriend?" Madison called from the window, earning a glare from Misty.

She disappeared into the greenhouse and began tending to some of the plants that needed it. Stevie sang from the 8track tapes and eventually Misty drowned out her confusion.

###

**Easy to Say**

_And the rain comes down  
there's no pain and there's no doubt  
it was easy to say,  
I believed in you every day.  
if not for me, do it for the world.  
_

Things remained normal – despite Misty's inability to focus sometimes, and suddenly being hyperaware of every touch, every bit of contact. Each time their hands brushed, or Misty found her hand slipping to Cordelia's leg, shame flashed through her in brief pangs.

Misty refused to let that stop her from enjoying the comfort Cordelia provided. If she were to quarantine herself from Cordelia, she'd feel even lonelier. Her only cure was the problem, but she had to force those thoughts to the back of her mind. She craved Cordelia's friendship even more now, sought to be validated and reassured even though Cordelia didn't _really _know what Misty was needing.

She wished for the easiness of forgetting herself, but that didn't happen so much anymore. She acted the same – it was only on the inside that she was hyper-conscious of every action.

It was another movie night when she snuggled up to Cordelia, forgot about the movie, and buried her face against Cordelia's shoulder. Misty wasn't stupid enough to think that her anxiousness would go without notice, but she was grateful Cordelia was kind enough not to probe (or to read her mind without permission).

"You okay?" Cordelia asked softly from above. Misty nodded but didn't look up.

"I'm good, just feelin' a little outta sorts," Misty answered softly after pondering how exactly to answer that. She tugged gently at Cordelia's hand and pulled it to her. Warm arms slipped around her and Misty heaved a grateful sigh.

Cordelia hummed thoughtfully, her fingers tracing through Misty's hair. Tingles moved through her spine, and Misty glanced up at those penetrative and dark eyes. "Anything I can do?"

"Don't think so," Misty offered a half-smile. "I'm okay with just this," sifting her fingers through fabric, she found Cordelia's hand and tangled it into her own, pulling it to her chest and feeling Cordelia respond by shifting closer. She glanced up, saw a peculiar sort of gleam in Cordelia's eyes and the way she sucked in her bottom lip thoughtfully. It was so hard not to move forward, to press her lips against Cordelia's.

Misty couldn't linger long on that affectionate gaze, because all her feelings were just too overwhelming. This was basically her best friend. So she would do her damndest not to mess anything up. Besides, she wasn't even sure Cordelia would ever be alright with any of those kinds of feelings.

###

They made it out to the swamp once in a while and right now that was exactly what Misty needed.

"Come on, 'Delia!" Misty all but ran to the edge of the swamp. "Look!" She had spotted a large croc lurking under the surface – one of the big lazy ones she'd come to know. Cordelia recoiled in fear.

"Misty –" she hissed, "Get away from the water! What if something happens to you?"

Misty laughed, "Aw, no, Delia," she moved back to Cordelia, "It's one of the big'uns I brought back to life. It wouldn't harm me none," she knotted her fingers in between Cordelia's and gently pulled her to the water's edge. "Look at her – idn't she just beautiful?" Misty admired the animals she had dwelled with so long in the swamp.

Cordelia still looked afraid, and was tucked under Misty's arm, only looking at the croc with one eye, her hands covering her face. "It could eat us," she whispered warningly.

Misty laughed and wrapped her arms around Cordelia – all her guilt seemed flushed away over the last few days. Maybe she wasn't a freak – she just mixed up her feelings a little is all. "I won't let her hurt you, Dee, I'd really never let anything hurt you." Her voice was soft as she spoke, and she found herself entranced with the way Cordelia kind of melted into her arms. She closed her eyes, breathing in Cordelia's perfume. "Some Supreme," she teased finally, pulling away and leaning down to level her gaze with Cordelia's.

The Supreme glared, smacking her arm gently but not without laughter. "Not many people can face a large animal like that without being afraid. They _really _can eat people!" Her eyes were wide and Misty laughed at the fact Cordelia felt insistent on informing her of this as if she didn't know.

Misty grabbed her hands and tugged her gently back to the garden, "Come on, big scaredy cat," she teased further. "Let's take care of my babies," Misty finished, only letting go of one hand as she moved through her garden. She finally let go of Cordelia's hand to fill up the watering can, kneeling low to the ground and she felt a weight on her head, realizing Cordelia had placed her gardening hat on her head. It was a brown floppy thing, but it was her favorite. Misty glanced up, giving a brief smile.

"I like that hat on you," Cordelia informed her simply before turning on her heel and heading over to some of the other plants that only needed pruning.

In the hot Louisiana sunlight, Misty flourished as strongly as her plants did under Cordelia's touch. She found herself staring over at Cordelia in admiration sometimes, completely stopping her own work just to watch Cordelia.

The Supreme seemed flustered under the attention sometimes and would raise a questioning eyebrow in Misty's direction, who would then grin and return to her work.

No matter what Misty felt, this is what really mattered. She didn't have to wrap it in something special for it to mean the whole world to her.

###

It was on the drive home that Misty found the desire to hold Cordelia's hand irresistible. While she normally did things like this, there was something about holding her hand while she drove that seemed indicative. She slipped her hand across the divide and found Cordelia's fingers pliant and ready to twine with her own.

"You're like my whole world sometimes, Miss Cordelia," Misty slipped into the formal nickname sometimes when she felt nervous, and her gaze lingered on Cordelia's face.

She found a sympathetic pair of eyes in response, and Cordelia wrinkled her nose a little, "Flatterer," she teased softly the way she did when she was complimented sometimes.

Misty had seen men fawn all over Cordelia. Even on simple shopping trips – her radiant health seemed to give her an ethereal magnetism that men were drawn to – they would fumble with their groceries or insist on letting her go first in line, and always Misty found herself standing as close as possible as if in some way to keep them away.

Lately, the worry had passed through her mind – sure, Zoe and Madison fooled around but it was mostly with Kyle. What if Cordelia found a Kyle for herself? She'd been married after all. What if she wanted to marry someone again?

Misty felt saddened at the thought, and held Cordelia's hand tighter. What if, one day, Misty could no longer wake up next to Cordelia in the morning, wrapped up in her arms, thighs tangled together?

"You've been heavy with thought lately," Cordelia observed. "Will you tell me what's been bothering you?"

Misty let the air grow thick with silence for a moment, and without thinking, she pressed Cordelia's hand to her face and shook her head. However, it seemed the silence wouldn't hold. She stared, ashamed and a little afraid, at their hands.

"Do you miss bein' with someone? Like – like Hank, but not like Hank. You know how Zoe and Kyle are. You miss that?"

"No," the absolute lack of hesitation and immediate response made Misty look up. "I have the Coven, I have family in the Coven," Cordelia explained softly, glancing over as she drove, but then training her eyes on the road and chewing the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. "I have someone that cares for me more than Hank ever did," she stated in a quieter tone. "I have you, Misty, and that means more to me than anything. I mean that with all my heart. I know maybe it's inappropriate or strange of me to say but – " She squeezed Misty's hand tightly. "I don't think I would be happier in anyone else's company. Regardless of whether it was more than a friend or not."

Misty felt a swell of relief, and bit her lip to keep herself distracted from the desire to fly across the partition and hug Cordelia. "It's not that I don't want you happy I just – I don't know if I could sleep without you at night and –" she didn't have words, was never taught how to properly express what she felt. She had been shamed into believing she should pray whenever she had a thought that was more than friendly.

"You'll never have to," Cordelia said these words in a way that spoke of a slight nervousness. Misty fell silent, watched Cordelia sometimes as the road passed by. She didn't know what to say to that, and didn't really know what Cordelia might mean by all that.

So she stayed silent, and was grateful for the way Cordelia's arms slipped around her when they got home late.

###

**Caret Initio Et Fine**

_Did you ever hear me sing?  
Listen to me now:  
you know I'd rather be alone  
than be without you.  
Don't you know?_

"Hey, darlin', can you grab me a bagel?" Misty asked from the couch, not realizing the use of her typical slang had come out. Usually she only spoke that way to Cordelia in private. Misty felt a couple scrutinizing looks before Cordelia came into the room, bagel in hand – cream cheese on top – and sat beside Misty, handing it to her in the midst of swallowing her own bite. They shared a bagel during this impromptu lecture by Queenie, and even though Misty liked Queenie real well, there was something better about paying attention to Cordelia around everyone else.

The pair sometimes shared looks, or intentionally spurred each other into laughter. Cordelia was trying to keep her firm posturing, but Misty leaned over and chewed loudly (intentionally) by Cordelia's ear. The Supreme's stern expression wavered and she bit back laughter, eyes widening in a mock-scolding way. Cordelia's finger poked at Misty's side, causing the Cajun to dodge the touch and catch her hands.

This was their process lately. They were quite inseparable and infatuated with spending time together. Even around the others, it was hard not to pay attention to each other. There was always something, some point of contact, some desire to touch or joke around. When their hands split, Cordelia smacked at Misty's hand but a moment later, Misty flushed a little warmly at the sensation of Cordelia's hand slipping into her own, their hands semi-hidden between them. Cordelia didn't look at Misty, but Misty smiled at the feel of a reassuring squeeze.

Cordelia was Misty's whole world. She was all that mattered to Misty these days, and there was seemingly no end to the depth of affection she had for her. She had heard the term soul mate, and she thought maybe Cordelia was like her soul mate.

She didn't know why today of all days she felt more emotional than the rest, but as she clutched Cordelia's hand to the side of her thigh, she knew she had to get it all out somehow. Even if it made her feel ashamed or scared, she had to let Cordelia know that she was the most important person in her life.

The lecture went by somewhat slowly, and Misty was eager to head to their retreat in the swamp afterward. They'd planned the outing last night when Misty complained of the house being too noisy and crowded. As the girls got up from the couch, Cordelia's hand slipped from Misty's when she stood. Misty rose afterward, following Cordelia out the back and to the garage. She trotted quickly after Cordelia, who gave a couple last orders to Zoe before unlocking the car and getting in.

"We'll be back," Cordelia informed gently, and Misty was grateful as Zoe disappeared and she felt like she could reach over and take Cordelia's hand in her lap. She toyed with it carefully, felt the car shift and reverse. The ride out to the swamp went by quickly, and Misty all but trotted after Cordelia to her shack. It was already somewhat late in the afternoon, but Misty didn't particularly mind. It was a warm evening and mosquitoes were out of season. Cicadas trilled in the distance, and Misty flipped on the small lamp in the shack.

Cordelia removed her jacket, and Misty's eyes were trapped on the sight of Cordelia's shoulders flexing under her white tank top; shame washed through her system only briefly.

"You 'member when I asked you if you missed –" Misty began carefully, but her words broke somewhere along the way. "Do you miss bein' – _intimate _with anyone?" The question almost came out too quietly to hear, but Cordelia had moved forward just enough to hear.

"Are you asking if I miss –"

"Sex." Misty blurted uncomfortably, then blushed and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry," she muffled from behind her mouth.

Cordelia was half-laughing, a sort of stunned expression on her face, "No, no, I don't want you to – I'm just surprised you're asking me this," she reached forward, peeling Misty's hand gently from her mouth and taking it in her own. "I don't – I feel like for me, it's never been a necessity. And there are some things that are more pleasing to me than sex."

Misty gulped. She didn't even know where the hell the question had come from because she had intended on spilling her guts about the fact that Cordelia was her whole world. And yet all she could say, pondering on Cordelia's touch, the bond they shared and all the growth that had happened between them, - the words tumbled out of her mouth clumsily, "I was told that these feelin's were wrong, Miss Cordelia," she tottered nervously. "Cordelia," she corrected. "I was told my whole life I should pray when I felt that special _feelin' _and now that I'm older I realize it's stupid to think it's wrong – but I'm just so damn confused 'cause I'm about half sure that I'm fallin' in love with you," she panicked and the words all came out at once, jumbled and hurried.

Cordelia looked surprised, but not upset; still, Misty found she couldn't look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry if that's wrong or if that bothers you but I just needed you to know 'cause I feel like it's gonna make my heart explode if I keep it in any –"

Suddenly there was a warm mouth on her own; it was a kiss that made her limbs weak. Cordelia's kiss was exploratory and gentle, loving without being demanding. After a few moments, Misty melted into it, particularly when Cordelia's hand slipped from her own and tangled in her unkempt curls. She let out a small whimpering noise as she felt Cordelia step closer, their hips pressed together. She felt Cordelia's hand press at the small of her back.

"Oh," Misty breathed when they finally parted, feeling dizzy and light-headed. "Oh, man," she murmured simply, her eyes fluttering open to find Cordelia's face still _so _near, her eyes searching Misty's. "That was nice," her words came out in a single breath, but somehow slowed by the effect of finally kissing Cordelia.

Cordelia laughed a little, grinning, and nodding sympathetically. Her fingers traced through Misty's hair. "I've never been so scared, Misty," the Supreme admitted quietly. "I've never been so in love with anyone in my life," their foreheads rested together briefly.

"Please tell me you're gonna kiss me again –" Misty pleaded softly. Her insides ached and she rested ringed, slender fingers at the back of Cordelia's neck.

"Only if you want," Cordelia's breath came in labored pants, subtle but present. Misty nodded, and without warning surged forward and captured Cordelia's mouth in a heated kiss. Her lips crashed over and over again with Cordelia's; her chest burned, a burning ember in her lower belly, particularly when Cordelia's throat failed to contain a soft groan of pleasure as Misty's body pressed closer. She'd backed Cordelia to one of the walls, and soon found that her mouth wanted to move other places.

"I don't know what I'm doin'," Misty admitted, blushing with embarrassment as she caught Cordelia in another kiss. "I've never been –"

Cordelia shook her head, silencing Misty with demanding lips. Suddenly Cordelia's hands were guiding Misty's hands to her stomach and Misty gasped when she felt bare flesh underneath her fingertips. Cordelia's touch guided, pressed Misty's palm to the skin underneath her shirt. Experimentally, Misty trailed her fingers just underneath Cordelia's breasts – one then another – and slowly worked her way up, Cordelia's kiss searing her to the very bone.

She was intoxicated as Cordelia gasped the moment Misty found an erect nipple. She felt awkward and nervous but Cordelia gave no sign she was doing anything wrong, particularly when she twisted ever so slightly. She felt Cordelia's hips jar into her own and something in Misty told her that was the very reaction she wanted.

Carefully, she guided Cordelia to the bed, and watched with fascination as Cordelia's hands pulled at Misty's dress, tugged it upward and off. The cooler evening air hit her skin with slight pleasure, and Cordelia's mouth was on her nipple, warm and demanding, her tongue teasing parts of Misty that she'd never considered to be places of pleasure. She felt her core aching, moaned softly when Cordelia grazed her nipple carefully with her teeth.

"Je_sus_," Misty gasped because suddenly she felt Cordelia press her down into the bed. She straddled her, dark eyes even darker now, and leaned in to press her mouth to Misty's. Her tongue teased at Misty's bottom lip, Misty's groping hands clumsily pulling at Cordelia's shirt.

Laughingly, flushed with arousal, Cordelia pulled off her shirt for Misty and returned to the heated kisses.

"I need you bad," Misty's voice quivered out of her as she felt Cordelia's hand trailing over her sternum and down her stomach, teasing at the edge of where she needed her most. She bit her bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood, trying to keep herself under control, but her core ached painfully. "Please, 'Delia," she whispered against Cordelia's mouth. She didn't know exactly what she was asking for, but she needed something.

Cordelia's fingers moved up Misty's inner-thigh, and suddenly Misty was completely bare and vulnerable. A finger teased at Misty's clit, wrenching a vulgar moan from her throat. Her hand flung to Cordelia's wrist, grasping as if to say she needed more of _that _and suddenly circles were being drawn around her clit, massaged into the moist flesh. "I love you," Cordelia whispered, her mouth hovering just over Misty's. "I love you, I love you," she asserted twice more, pleading.

"I love you," Misty echoed in a husked moan, "Oh my _god,_" she gasped, her voice full of ache and want as she arched into the suddenly invading touch. Cordelia had slipped a finger inside where she ached the most, and was massaging, stretching gently but somehow in just the right way, pressing – Misty thought she was going to explode, but Cordelia's kiss kept her distracted enough for the time being. Her hips rocked slowly into the touch, and there was a second pressure entering her, massaging and coaxing Misty into heights of pleasure she had never known existed so freely. "Oh my god," she repeated softly, "Cordelia," she gasped the name like a prayer, her hands flying to Cordelia's hips, which added to the rhythm and pressure of what was happening.

Cordelia's hips canted slow at first, her fingers working methodically but slowly, and soon Misty was all but in tears, begging for release. The pace quickened, Cordelia's mouth hovering _so _achingly close to Misty's, until finally Misty couldn't stand it anymore and crashed their lips together, her hips rocking frantically into Cordelia's touch.

And then Misty's whole body gave in. There was a kind of tension and release, clouded vision and clamped eyes because oh _holy mother of God _there was pure ecstasy and Misty was gasping Cordelia's name even afterward. She pressed their mouths together again, kissed as the rhythm between them slowed, and she was brought lovingly back to earth.

Her legs felt like rubber, but she got past the feeling because suddenly her need to give Cordelia the same pleasure was too overwhelming. She switched their positions carefully, echoing Cordelia's actions and using them to discover the best way to make Cordelia gasp.

It was heaven when Misty's hesitant touch slipped inside the most sacred part of Cordelia. Misty watched with fascination as Cordelia's expression became pleading and hungry all at once, gifting her with kisses and whispers. "Come on, darlin'," she coaxed softly, "I wanna hear you say my name," she was surprised at the words coming from her mouth, but they seemed to push Cordelia further because suddenly the rhythm was frantic and needy.

"M-m-" Cordelia panted, trying to formulate words, "Misty—Mist—please don't stop," her words crashed incoherently into one another, and Misty insisted, experimented, found one area that seemed to make Cordelia cry out in pleasure. Her whispered affirmations were enough to make Misty ache all over again, and suddenly she was kissing and fucking Cordelia because she just felt like it was the only way to get all these pent up emotions out.

Cordelia came loudly, her hands clasping onto Misty hard enough to leave marks for the day after. They made love twice more, Misty becoming more certain of herself with each time.

###

"We can't – not here –" Misty pleaded, though Cordelia's expression was playful. They had been home for three days since they consummated their relationship, took the once budding friendship and let it become what it was supposed to be. Cordelia backed her onto the desk, forcing Misty to sit on the edge, and Misty bit back a quiet gasp as Cordelia's palm traveled the inside of her thigh, pushing her legs apart, slipping under her dress.

Cordelia kissed Misty lovingly, and the dual sensation of softness and sudden invasion made Misty gasp against Cordelia's mouth. The Supreme's hand pumped, found a quick and pleasurable pace, Misty's arm wrapping around Cordelia and her hips grinding into the touch.

"Baby-" Misty moaned into Cordelia's ear, and suddenly she forgot they were just in Cordelia's office because she was fucking against Cordelia's hand in earnest, gasping and pleading for release. "Don't s-ss-top," her syllables hissed out, fell out clumsily.

She came hard, having to bite down on her bottom lip to keep a moan from ripping out of her throat, her hips still bucking irregularly even after she'd come. A knock at the door announced someone, and Misty felt Cordelia press a loving kiss to her mouth. She was lost in it just long enough, and there was another knock. They parted, just barely, Misty trying to stand on legs that shook and trembled. She settled for having a seat in Cordelia's chair, and Cordelia moved to the door. She opened the door, resuming her posture and Misty was amazed at Cordelia's ability to pull herself together. Meanwhile, she sat collapsed in Cordelia's chair, holding her trembling thighs together.

"Hey – time for the usual. Everyone's waiting," Queenie nodded her head toward the living room. She seemed not to notice Misty's _very _flustered state. When she turned and walked away, Cordelia glanced back, offering her hand and Misty giving her a stern but pleading look.

"We almost got caught – " Misty scolded, but nonetheless managed to get out of the chair, shakily clinging to Cordelia's arm as she heard her lover's subtle laughter.

"I just love you too much," Cordelia leaned over, pressing her mouth to Misty's ear in a brief show of affection. They headed into the living room, hands clasped.

Misty thought she heard Madison cursing angrily as she handed Zoe a $20 dollar bill, but was too distracted by Cordelia's hand in her own to ponder why Zoe looked so triumphant.


End file.
